After hearing about the fantastic prizes we gave out in out last GIANT CONTEST, some distributors and programmers were heard to grumble about the ease in which certain individuals walked off with these Amazing Devices and Miracle Programs. Their collective complaints might be summarized by the following (expletives deleted!)
PRODUCTS FOR NUTHIN’
(with apologies to Dire Straits)
(I want my… I want my SyncWare News)
Look at them yo-yo’s, that’s the way you do it!
Writin’ software for the “SyncWare Three.”
That ain’t workin’, that’s the way you do it,
Get your programs for nuthin, and the tapes for free!
No, that ain’t working; that’s the way you do it.
Let me tell ya, them guys ain’t dumb.
Maybe get a callous on your keyboard finger,
Maybe get a callous on your thumb.
We gotta install Microdrive systems,
Custom software deliveries.
We gotta move these Aerco Disk Drives,
We gotta move these AROS Hot-Z’s.
That little hacker with the teakwood on his keyboard,
Yeah, buddy, that’s him in his lair.
That little hacker got his own twin disc-drives,
That little hacker got a new Sinclair!
We got to solder micro-chip sockets,
Custom EPROM deliveries.
We got to move these “Z-EXTRICATORS”,
We got to move these “HORACE WITH SKIS!”
(Look at that! Look at that!)
I shoulda learned to compile that BASIC,
I shoulda written some zappers and guns.
Look at that QL, he’s got it stickin’ in the phone line…
Yeah we could have some….
Tell ya somethin’… what’s that, what’s that, synthetic voices?
Bangin’ clangin’ screamin’ like a wild banshee!
Oh, that ain’t workin’, that’s the way to do it.
Get your circuits for nuthin’ and your chips for free!
We gotta sell these Microdrive wafers,
Custom keyboard deliveries,
We gotta move these Volume 1 Syncwares,
We gotta move these overlay keys.
Listen, now; that’s the way you do it.
You write some software for the “SyncWare Three.”
That ain’t working, that’s the way you do it,
Get your products for nuthin’, and your chips for free!
(I want my… I want my SyncWare News!
I want my… I want my SyncWare News)